Delahkor

    1)      "That's a mighty big lens you've got there, compensating for something?"

Yes: distance and quality, physics you know…

    2)      "That's a great camera! You must take really awesome photos!"

I know, right? Now if only I could afford that great set of knives and pans, so I can become a better food photographer!

    3)      "Photography is just pressing a button."

And being a mechanic is only checking water and oil, being a teacher is just citing a textbook, being a chef is just throwing ingredients into a pot…

    4)      "Digital photography is easy, you just point and shoot."

Let's completely forget that light meters and auto focus were around since the film days as well, and let's forget that you just said that the only thing that makes a photo good is that it's properly exposed, but to get properly exposed photo you pretty much have the Sunny 16 table, which most photographers have printed and glued to the back of a camera. You have to think to get the proper exposure. Well, aren't you the next Einstein.

    5)      "Digital photography is easy, the camera does all the work for you!"

I know, right? I have all this free time on my hands now to troll film shooters online, pretending digital requires thinking, while my camera is alone in the studio, churning out masterpieces. Ain't technology great?!

    6)      "Digital photography is cheating."

I wasn't aware you could actually cheat in art, short of stealing someone else's idea.

    7)      "I'm a purist, I don't edit my photos!"

Seeing as photo editing is as old as photography itself, you're pretty much bragging about being ignorant. Good job.

    8)      "Digital artists aren't real artists, only traditional art is real art!"

God damn it! I wasted to much time trying to improve my photography, when all I needed to be good, was to buy a film camera!

    9)      "Canon/Nikon/Sony/Pentax/… is what the professionals use."

If only I bought that other brand with slightly better, barely noticeable features, I could be so famous right now.

    10)   "My young cousin can do that, too."

Holy cow! You have a talented cousin then! Go buy him an expensive camera ASAP, you have any idea how much you can sell his work for???

    11)   "Editing photos is cheating. Real photographers get it right in camera."

Cooking food is cheating, real chefs get it right in the preparation stage.

    12)   "I never use flashes, external lights, or even modify existing light. I'm strictly available light photographer."

So you pretty much refuse to do the thing that the word photographer mean, AKA write with light, good work.